In this article, we will discuss how to get a kid to stop crying over everything. Understanding the underlying issues or feelings can better prepare you next time you find your child in a somber mood.
As you may know young children cry often. Some of these children seem like they are crying over everything.
No matter what a person does it seems like the child is crying or whining about it. While all children do cry at times it can drive a parent crazy. There are some tips for parents and caregivers to help their child stop crying over everything.
Reasons Why Children Whine and Cry
Children are learning how to communicate with others and they are even learning how to speak in simple sentences. Even as a child is learning these skills they can cry and whine often.
It is enough to annoy even patient parents. The child is not crying intending to annoy the parents. Preschoolers do not understand that they are annoying. They are trying to express their needs and do not know another way.
When a small child cries they are showing that they are:
- Uncomfortable
- Hungry
- Tired
- Cranky
They may also cry if they do not want to do something. They do not have the vocabulary skills to express these feelings and may not know how they are feeling.
They do not have the concept of all of the different feelings and emotions yet. Crying is their way of letting the parents or caregivers know that they need or want something.
Discipline Often Does Not Work
A parent may get tired of hearing their child cry about everything and they may yell at the child. The child is testing their limits and their independence.
Crying gives them some power over the parents. When a child cries they know they will get a response and will get attention. Some children cry just to get a reaction from the parent. The more they can be yelled at the more this behavior is reinforced.
A child will know that they will get attention so as long as the parent pays attention to them, the child will continue to whine and cry. They may not know how to get a positive response from the parent and will be looking for ways to get the attention of their parents.
They will even enjoy the negative response because it gets them the attention they want. A parent cannot give in to their child either. If they give in to the demands every time the child wants something they will cry. This will also reinforce the behavior.
If a parent can hold in their frustrations they can work on ways to get the child to stop crying. It is going to take a lot of self-control to teach a child to stop crying over everything.
Don’t Not Let Crying Bother You
As parent you should sit down with your child and develop a basic rule. If the child cries you will not respond or pay attention to them. You need to keep your facial expressions neutral and not give the child any kind of look including an angry look.
You can begin by telling your child that you cannot understand them when they cry. You will then listen and respond to them once the crying stops and they can talk in a nicer tone of voice.
As a parent you can also set up a signal with your child to help them before the crying begins. When you give this basic signal to the child it is more of a warning sign. Once the signal is given you will stop listening.
One of the signs that are commonly used for this is pulling on the ear. The ear is associated with hearing and listening and will be easy for the child to remember.
Define Asking Nicely
When a child is told to ask for something nicely or to use manners when asking they may not know what it means. It may seem simple to some adults but unless explained most children do not know what be nice means.
This needs to be explained to the child when they are calm and examples can be given. The child may begin to cry or whine before they even know it.
To help a child understand this a recording can be made. You should record the child when they are whining or crying while asking for something.
You should then tape the child when they ask for something nicely even when prompted. You then play both of these recordings for the child so they can hear the difference and begin to understand it.
You will also need to go over some polite terms and give examples of the way that a child can express their feelings. This includes feelings of:
- Hunger
- Frustration
- Tiredness
- Boredom
- Anger
Children often want to be good so they can please adults and get positive attention from adults. Parents may think that their children know how to ask nicely, know how to be polite, and know what is proper behavior but children often do not know this.
They need to be given an example to follow and need the parent to model this behavior.
Praise the Positive
Parents want their child to act properly and they expect the child to express their feelings and needs without crying.
Parents may tell their child to be nice but they may not always give the child positive reinforcement when they behave in the desired way. A parent can thank the child for using a nice voice or they can tell the child how much they liked the way they asked for something.
This way the child gets the praise and the attention that they want. The parent should tell the child how much they like them and how proud and happy that they are.
You should acknowledge what the child has asked for this in this manner and how proud they are that they were able to ask nicely. It may be a little awkward for you and you may feel that it is not effective but once you do it they will see improvements. When giving positive reinforcement and praise the crying will decrease.
Be Patient
Some parents will also try one technique and they will give up if it was not effective immediately. As a parent you need to understand that things do not happen overnight and behaviors will not change right away. It takes time.
When trying to learn how to get a kid to stop crying over everything, you need to try things and wait them out. An adult cannot change their habits overnight and neither can a child.
Parents need to try positive techniques such as praise and reinforcement and give it time to be effective. It may take up to a month to see some changes. Some children will pick up on it right away while others may need some more time.
Crying is Natural
While parents often get frustrated they need to keep in mind that crying can be a natural response when expressing emotions and they may feel like they have a valid reason to cry.
People cry when they are upset and when they want to express their feelings. Something small to an adult may be a big deal to a child.
Children will learn where they can express their feelings and where they will not be accepted as they grow. A parent should teach their child that it is not always acceptable to cry in public and many people will not like it.
The adults also needs to teach the child other ways to deal with their emotions. They will need to teach them some acceptable behaviors and what is considered to be more appropriate.
As a parent you need to work with your child to help regulate their emotions and help them develop empathy and understanding for others. Once the child is calm you should listen to their concerns and help them work through it.
Parents should also look at things through the perspective of the child and why they may be getting upset. When a child cries what they need is important to them. A parent should pay attention to these feelings and teach a child another way to deal with their emotions that are acceptable and productive.
Look for Missed Communication
Most crying children are trying to communicate but they do not know how to do so properly and that is why they cry.
When the crying stops a parent should work on communication skills with them. Even if the child was told no to something they will continue to ask for it since they want it and they think it will fill a need that they have.
If a parent says they are going to do something later or gives a specific time the child will keep on asking for it over and over. If they do not get it they will continue to whine and cry for it.
You should acknowledge what they are saying and give attention to the item. You should not say that a they can have it even at a later time. This will help acknowledge what the child wants and will begin to help a child understand how to calm themselves down.
Once the child knows the parent is understanding what they are saying and that their needs are acknowledged they can begin to calm down. They may also begin to process an alternative solution but that part is going to take time.
Check for Health Needs
Children have some basic needs to be met. They act on the need for power, experience, and connection.
Children try to get these needs met and when a child is not getting these needs met they may cry. Their crying goes around their needs and the feeling to be heard.
A parent needs to make sure their child is eating and drinking enough at meals. They need to make sure they are getting enough sleep.
A parent should bring their child to the doctor for annual checkups and if they feel that the child is ill. Some children may be acting in this manner because something is wrong.
If their basic health needs are met a parent can begin to work on the needs that the child has for power and control of the situation.
Look for Patterns
A parent should look for a pattern when their child is whining or crying. There may be a certain time of the day when the child cries or in a certain situation.
If a parent finds the pattern and knows that the child is going to cry they can work out a plan ahead of time. They can work with the small child and help find ways to prevent the pattern.
They should look for any triggers or events that happen right before the child cries. A parent should then look at what the child is trying to get.
They may have a basic need that is not met, they may be looking for power, and they may be looking for attention. Once a parent knows the trigger and the motivation they can begin to work on proper communication skills and other ways that they can help the child get their needs met without crying or whining.
Conclusion
Figuring out how to get a kid to stop crying over everything can drive a parent crazy. After listening to their child cry they may get angry, frustrated, and they may want to give in. None of these techniques will work.
All this will do is make a parent go crazy and the child will continue to cry and whine. Crying is a way that the child is communicating. It may be the only method that they know.
A parent needs to take the time to understand what their parent wants and the communication that the child is trying to have. The parent should work with their child to teach them more appropriate and productive communication skills.
Parents also needs to learn to be patient and not give in to the child. With some patience and communication skills, you can decrease the incidents of crying over nothing and can teach their child proper communication skills. Learning how to get a kid to stop crying over everything will give any parent a sense of accomplishment and make the whole home happier
